Well, it's Halloween. Wonderful day right? A day full of people wearing 2-inch skirts, wanting to be the next on the cover of Playboy, weirdos scaring the fuck out of each other, and spiked, year-old candy. What a lovely holiday. And guess how I'm spending this delightful day? While everyone else is off trick-or-treating/shrieking over bowls of popcorn at their friends house I'm sitting at home, flipping through stupid Halloween reruns, and listening to the droning of my lovely mother. How positively delightful.

In case people didn't know, I was Lois Lane. (I must have repeated that about 287477575465 times). And no, I wasn't a librarian or a teacher or whatever. (Though I do admit, it was pretty funny in French when J&J&A&me were joking about pervy librarians).. was Superman's girlfriend, those the era I represented her in was the area in which she and Clark Kent weren't currently dating. Just had to get that out.



Daily Dedications:

1. I feel like things have been a bit not as familiar with us. I hope you don't think I'm trying to replace you or anything; no you and her have distinct(ish) personalities. I don't know. You need to work out your problems, and you have your own group and friends and stuff. I really want to know what happened between you and L and W but I don't really want to ask because I don't think you're ready to discuss it.
2. You like him. You ready do. Or you're on the verge of it. Don't deny it.
3. Well, you say you don't mean it. You say you're not going to. But how will I know you won't? It's a natural human instict to do so.

mindless venting...

Wow. Did you know that one piece of meat probably contains E. Coli on it and has thousands of bacteria on it? Did you know that male cows have their freaking testies yanked off? I've made a pledge to not consume any poultry/beef related flesh for 30 days and I suggest you all to take the pledge too. Moving on.

Ugh! Today wasn't the best day ever. In French, I don't know why but I lost 2 euros for no particular reason. I wasn't even late. I don't think Madame Jacquot likes me anymore. And in 5 period, stupid freaking Kaka was asking for "help" on for his group's video. I suggested this thing and guess how he responded? With a flat "No. You just killed it." And what's more? He said, "That's reaaally stupid. And, anyway, I was talking to T and W. Not you. Why don't you go back to your angry little hole and throw some more pencils." I swear, I wanted to rip his god-forsaken balls off. If he even had any, that whiny little fucking bitch. Have you heard his voice? It sounds like he accidentally swallow a rubber ball when he was trying to practice his oral. And his face? He may think he's the next Pierce Brosnan or whatever but that face of his couldn't even make it into those shoddy, wannabe-designer hair posters with terrible models trying out their best come-hither faces. Maybe he thinks he's something but the only thing uglier and faker that his "look" is probably Tara Reid's third boob job. And you know what was worse? Thanks to being mostly woman, I started crying. Yes. CRYING. I didn't even know why. I gave Wynnie a bit of the shock---she kinda scooted away. Tricia, because she's Tricia, just continued working, though she did ask me if I was okay before doing so. Okay. Done venting. Now I want some peanut butter-and-honey pretzels. Oh wait. I'll have to give honey up too---honey bees are disappearing like crazy, in case you guys having been reading the back of honey containers. (I wouldn't expect you guys too) I guess my sister gets all the Vanilla Honey Haagen Daz ice cream now. Weep.

Current music: I've been listening to lots of Cobra Starship lately..I don't even know why really. So, Carmina, Ann, Laura.., if I start busting into Guilty Pleasure in my crackly, tuneless voice, please give me a good smack on the head. Walnut will forever be in your debt for doing so.
"It's Almost Halloween" Yes. It is almost Halloween. Hahaha. You can find the funniest videos on Youtube for this song. Hahaha. This one's from The Nightmare Before Christmas
"Skeptics and True Believers": Am I a skeptic or true believer?
"The World Has A Shine": I guess the world does have a shine...with all the pollution haze and corruptness and alcohol it has consumed.

By the way, I have this crazy idea idea in the mental institude I call my mind. But I'm not sure. It popped up when I passed a florist. I love florist shops, though I get all sneezy (like Carmina's debut as Sneezyx]) and watery-eyed. So anyway.
Oh, p.p.s: Laura I finally looked up Steven Chung. There's like 284735 Steven Chungs. I don't he's that fat college teacher or those nerdy ching-chongs...hopefully?
p.p.p.s Mina, I wish I could tell you I'm still rooting for Antelope but it's clear he won't be the first to cross. So C-Apple it is. But, if you're wondering, I'm still hoping Muffin (and Pucco, I guess) will pump it up and make a comebackBut you have to admit...C-Apple is the best looking one out of the litter. xP
p.p.p.p.s, Ann！I dont even have a little one fragment dedication! At least Mina INCLUDES me in hers. Hmmph.

Can you handle the scandal?

You know, I now remember why I don't like reading People or Internet gossip anymore. It's just so disappointing when you find out people who claim they're "just like you" getting fucked up in scandals, drugs, and booze. I want to spit on them and say, "Please don't claim you're just like the rest of us. That makes us a disgrace." It seems like the world can't handle even a little attention without overdoing it. Makes you wonder how people can be whoring themselves half naked at cameras when the world's inching closer to death daily. And I don't even know why people are willing to spend money at a time of a world-wide recession just to read about the rich&famous battling their latest coke addiction or whatever. Cross that out. Why can people like fricking Tom Cruise or whatever spend thousands of dollars on his kid's wardrobe and vintage things when people are forced to drink their own urine? How can they? I don't know how I'll be able to live with myself. I remember times when actors/musicians/whatever were transsexual whores performing for daily meals, instead of jerks clad in Bergdorf's flashing their million-dollar diamonds at the people who made them what they are. Why do actors/musicians/whatever get paid more than the writers/producer themselves? Why are we poorer than the rich&famous when they depend on our money to make a living? Why is the world so corrupted? How can people blow all of their money in one go and not feel bad? And we're not the ones who should preach about overindulgence. How can we subconsciously waste resources? Have we become too wrapped up in the unknowing bliss that we fail to acknowledge the problems that have been gnawing at the world's core from inside out? Maybe people feel that it's not their problem, and the corrupted thing we excuse as a government will eventually lead us out of the pit we've fallen in. What if they lure us to death with promises of a better life? And those who say things like, "I don't care. I'll probably be dead by then" should be shot. Has the delusion of self-indulgence suffocated the caring people the world once was? Are we all alive for the purpose of catering to our whims alone? Either way, this is going to be a tough pathway for us all. Whoa. This is much to serious for my tastes. I think I should issue a restraining orders against gossip tabloids, and racy Internet pictures. By the way, Laura, I went to Boba Cafe today. I still prefer crispier crepes, though they were tasty. And, p.s. Carmina, my "celebrity crush" on him is over. That's what? A day? New record. Now I shall be a corrupted bastard and eat my kettle corn and watch some music videos.

At the movies with people...

High School Musical 3 was suprisingly decent. The plot was a bit muddled and dry but the cool dance numbers and songs balanced it out. So it was all good. And all the guys in it were pretty good looking. On the other hand, I am so screwed: I forgot what we were even testing on for English. And I don't if we have World History homework and no one's answering me back. I really need to keep my life in track because, sadly, I don't live in East High's world and my future won't be secured by the click-clack of whoever's typing up the script. I don't know how I can keep living like this; heck, if I keep living like this my parents will probably ship me off to China where I'll become a total ching-chong. Bliss. And what's more? I furthered my debt and lost my glasses, stepped on a pin so my toe is bleeding, and hurt my back. Wonderful.

Weekly Dedications:
1. What the hell is your problem? Just since you've decided you stopped liking her doesn't mean you should act like a pissy bitch to everyone. Sometimes I wonder if your stupidity is real, which would be just plain sad, or just some pathetic act attention whores like you want. I feel like I don't even know you anymore--are you acting like this just to me or to everyone else?
2. For the love of Mike Jagger's oversized gob: what's going on? Conversation between us seem strained 2/3 of the time. It seems like you (like the rest of the world) have some type of annoyance barb thrown directly at me.
3. For you're friend, eh? Are you sure about that?
4. If you don't want to do something just tell me. I know you're trying to be polite but honest to death, it just makes you look like a pretentious bitch who's so busy wrapped up in her sham "problems" to notice everyone else is dealing with shit too.
5. You look like a slut. I don't how people think you're cute.
6. Thanks for listening. You're one special daffodil.

Sundays are so depressing. Worse than Mondays in fact, because you need to get ready for the hellhole called school. I remember those days I actually liked school--that drop on the head probably jacked my head up. Or I had waay too much sugar. Probably both.

Current music:
One of the Nights: I still like that song. Since I'm still a mess and I'm fighting to get by.
Oxford Comma: Makes me laugh. And reminds me of Sound of Music or something with the quasi-yodeling part.
Yellow Balloon: It's like being on narcotics. I bet the people who sang it were high or something. It's a mix, since the song makes you giddy and makes you say things you regret. So you pay the price afterwards. Typical.
She Doesn't Get It: Yes, Carmina, after all these years I still don't get it. Don't think I ever will.

hey lloyd...i'm ready to be heartbroken

Great song. Great song. Sounds depressing but it's so upbeat it makes you feel like you've just took one too many hits. (DJ moment) This song is dedicated to my Best Friend #1. It doesn't really mean much except I like the oldies flair to it, but you won't be heartbroken. And if you do do the unlikely, you'll have a womanizing stripper, a Democrat clone, and a better looking baller (and me!!! and Laura!!!) to fall back on. Just listen to it, kay? It makes me happy. Don't really know why. Another thing you should watch: Brendon Urie got clocked by a bottle and fainted! It was HILARIOUS! I know it's sad and you shouldn't laugh at hecklers heckling but it was SO FUNNY!!! And afterwards he stood up and yelled, " You can’t take me out! Let's see how well you guys do with my left side!" I practically pissed in my pants laughing. And then, at some other video, this guy who got so passionate he was like making out with the mike got hit and fell down the stool!! And when he became consience, he looked around and said, "Whoa. Was that a bomb?" AHAHAHAH. By the way, what happened yesterday night? Was it a dropped call or what? I didn't call you back because: 1) I could'nt get any signal (stupid, stupid AT&T) 2) My battery was dying on me. So sorry. See you at the movies?

Life doesn't...

Life doesn't get any better than this.
I am such a bipolar person it's not even funny. I scared my cousin off and now Luther, who is currently not responding to my IMs. Good call. I know I ask too much of people sometimes, but that's how I am. I don't know. Blame my astrological sign. Damn Virgos. Well, this has been a terrible week. Like there's been some good moments but pretty much my karma's been wack. Like today: lunch was a complete and utter disaster. I felt like I was an ugly Invisible Woman or something. I don't know.I got yet another F in English again, this time because of stupid ISNs. Why do we get judged for neatness? That's stupid. I don't get geometrey whatsoever, so math is bad too. And my test is next Wedsneday--the same day as my World History Test. And, when I came home, not only did my chair fall apart, but when I opened the frigde a remote fell on me and now my toe is swollen. And I found out that I can't be apart of the Monster Mash for Interact. Why do they tell you to sign up then? Eesh. That club sucks. Yup; life doesn't get better than this.

oh man....

Well, I flunked my Of Mice and Men essay. Seriously. I mean I didn't even know we were supposed to start writing until the guy in front of me asked to borrow my Wite-Out. And my stupid prompt, something about why Steinback's purpose of having women and African Americans in the novel. I'm not trying to assume here, but English teachers are constantly urging for us to "understand the metaphoric language" and "notice the symbolization" and whatnot, but are the authors really trying to propose literary shit or is it just a coincident that it's like that? I don't know. On the other hand, I am forced to be nice to Justin for 3 days because of an incident that involve him using his white jacket to mop up green tea. Joy.
Current things that might soon cause a migraine:
1. 3 people. 2 parts. Go figure.
2. Stupid, stupid, geometry. I hate math.
3. My Fs in English.
4. Stripes's problems causing problems for people who are near and dear to me.
5. Johannson's class. I always get headaches when I step near that place.
6. Stupid, stupid, stupid stalker stalking stalkee.
7. Crap with those near and dear to me. well...not really near.
8. My inability to be serious once I start blogging.
9. My mannish tendencies.

Daily Dedications:
1. The video might not have been my idea but I wrote most of the storyboard. And besides, both of you got lead roles last time. Sure you guys go, "I don't mind not being a part of it." But I don't want to be stuck on camera again. Well...you guys might take over that too. I regret being in this group.
2. Haven't been talking much lately....
3. I don't want to ask you about it, but I wish you'd remember...
4. Being near all of you make me sad. Sorry.
5. Don't think any of you guys like me much...
6. I liked it better when you annoyed me; it was fun despite all that bull I received. Because now you're just pissing the fuck out of me. I'm not that gross/unable to do anything/stupid. I don't need your fucking sympathy.
7. Whoa. Can never look at you the same.
8. Not trying to rip you off. Just...they're pretty cool in my opinion too. Hope I won't turn into an obsessed stalker.

I wish...

I wish I could have wine with my food, like le françois.

ayayayaya...

The story starts off with yesterday night...
Kahl is on the phone with her friend Rita. Nothing new. But, after thirty minutes of stimulating conversation about whatever crap teenagers talk about, things start to wither. As in awkward silences and mhmms replacing the "OMG! Are you serial? WTF?!" squeals that usually dominate their phone calls. Then Kahl, after overloading on chocolate, Pringles, and Pepsi (always a bad combo) gets all dreary and weird and falls into her LaLa Land. Which is weird, since LA is supposed to be LaLa Land. Whatever. Then, after waking up disappointed, Kahl just doesn't feel like talking to someone who has enough shit to deal with (and her mother being the naggy bitch she sometimes is) she decides it's time to say goodbye, and boils her skin with a hot shower, hoping that tomorrow would be better. Wrong.
First period...
This morning, Kahl had an English test on a book that would've been so much better if her teacher hadn't tried shoving it up the students' asses. Sad thing was that she hadn't been expecting freaking LITERARY TERMS on a book test. So she flunked it. What was worse? Her teacher decided to check their books. For credit. WTF? And, after proclaiming that she was not allowed to use her cousin's book, the teacher gave her a whopping 0 on it, saying if she somehow produced a fresh copy of the book she would give her some credit. Spending ten bucks on another copy of a book she doesn't need...AT THE TIME OF A RECESSION. People are really trying to help save the economy.
Second period...
Kahl did her homework since...forever. yay?
Third period...
Kahl didn't get in trouble. yay. but she did piss the loser sitting next to her off. Poor Justin. ah well. she learned how to have proper French pronunciation while talking, which is making sure to make your voice high near the middle of the sentence and suddenly having a baritone as it wraps up. French is mu bien. (hahaha!) Just to be obnoxious she'll talk like a French fag tommorow. Yuupppiee! (cue French accent)
Fourth period....
Kahl forgot her clothes, so two people felt sorry for her and lent her socks and shorts. Her teacher was having a good day and allowed her to wear her (actually her sister's) jacket out. But, later, Kahl felt like a bitch cause she made her partner dance in front, due to her inability to disco like a pre-old Madonna.
Lunch...
Weird. Kahl was surprised, worried, and a bit jealous/peeved. She and her friends Rita and Sal had a talk by the Wall of Nothingness, and was later met up by Rita's friend: B.She and Rita sang the end credits to The Show. She owes Rita/Sal 25cents, which adds to her debt pile. Kahl has long since forgotten how to be lavish with money.
Fifth period....
Decent. She rewrote the video story. But, of course, her mood was ruined by someone. And she felt bad for stepping on some girl's shoe. And this guy thinks she's a violent, bipolar freak who should be locked up. Joy.
Sixth period....
Her sub teacher was funny. He recited Family Guy quotes and seemed nice enough, except he gave her "the eye" for talking. She discovered the guy who sits behind her has a knack for art. Though her sub will probably make a note of her chatter and she will be killed by the teacher on Wednesday. And she is sure more than one person in all of her classes hate her.

After school, Kahl gave Rita a ride home. After a rather uncomfortable car ride (which even Kahl's mom acknowledged) she is currently at home trying not to choke on bug spray and prays she will not die before fulfilling her LV dream.

my face looks like a swollen melon...

My feelings have been a tad...bizarre lately. and my conscience Evelyn agrees. I always feel like i'm somewhere else and I get these weird surges of anger/ sadness /fghtuer at the most bizarre moments, which causes people to hate me even more. I am such a bipolar bitch. no wonder i only have like five friends in the world. these past days have just been whizzing by, and i just can't remember anything anymore, which is probably why my grades have been dropping to the speed of the fucking stock market. is it too early to apply to chick-fil-a? i don't even know what the hell is up;it's like i'm trapped in these crazy shit "dreams" of mine. oi vay. time to bring out the narcotics again. well, it seems like everyone has their own fucking problems to deal with, and i used to wonder why no one bothered telling me anything. (except for best friend #1 and bikini bear buddy). but now it doesn't really bother me anymore (thank you organic chocolate). i guess im too busy floating in my little bubble of mine to really care anymore, or i just grew up and realized that you can't change someone's feelings. and if you can, you're probably related to the portea family. I really do care for all of my friends, but seriously if you guys don't trust me enough to wait a little while, then whatever. fucking. whatever. that's right. thee carmel yang doesn't give two shits anymore. well, at least a shit about it anymore. (white chick moment) but i'm too slammed with everything lately, and there'll always be a slug of Simply Apple, a carton of ice cream, and reruns waiting for me. i know i should like one of those fucking bitches who don't deserve anyone (which i seriously don't) but that's how i feel at the particular moment. (i'll make sure to finish this before my apologetic mood kicks in). on the bright side, i'm feeling much more independent at the moment. but i also feel like a hermit cat-lady who lives in a crappy house that smells like old tuna and screams at Jerry Springer while scarfing ice cream by the Costco-tubful. (sad thing---i'm allergic to most cats. and, thank's too my aunt's friend's cat it turns out fluffy cats cause my face to swell. i'm sure Louis Prades would love to marry a bipolar bitch with a face that looks like a freaking cantalope.) this is too depressing...time to move on.

Daily Dedications:
1. i'm sure he likes you. he's just a bit shy. there's no way he'd leave you for those squinty-eyed ching-chongs who'd make a horse look hot. btw, thanks for the shirt. if i'm in desperate need of money when i grow up, and my cats need a foot transplant or whatever, i'm sure that would be my source of income.
2. so. how are things? yeah. pretty much sums up my conversation. not that you'd actually tell me anything. you'd just give me a sad look, sigh, and say things are okay. i know the drill by now.
3. glad to see that you're chasing your dreams.
4. are you guys really there for me? i know it's hard dealing with me crying but...still. even Medusa has a heart. it's petty i know, but i still want to feel loved. fuck. that was so cheesy. but, anyway, i still wish the best of you guys.
5. so things have been pretty suckish, eh? (canada moment). i know i sound like i don't care, but truthfully i just don't know how to react. i don't want to tell what to do because it's your life. i dont want to change the cosmos with my cheap, fortune-cooking advice and have you end up sad. amen, sister. (sister sledge moment). btw, sorry if you feel like i'm ripping off your music. it's just those videos really make me happy.
6. ah. i love you my adorable friend. be sure to get some sexy shots of me. :]

Everyone says that the LV dream of mine is never going to happen, but to me, it feels so tangible, like it could really happen with a little luck and ann's publication camera. i know this is stupid, but i feel like that pathetic dream of mine is the only thing holding me up, because i know my other dreams won't ever come true unless karma decides to give me a shot of luck. well...
BTW, anyone have a high-waist skirt? i need it for my L.L. costume.
P.S HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARTHUR! SORRY FOR EATING THE TIRAMISU!

Current music:
"The Show" Lenka. I love that Australian singer. that songs reminds me of me currently. i wish i had a hot nerd and my food would cut itself up.
"One of those nights" The Cab. I loooooove Best Friend #1 for showing me that band. sorry everyone knows about them. you were one of the firsts. but i am such a mess right now, it's not even funny. well...it kinda is. especially how i love yogurt and yet it causes me to gag. i'm sure Best Friend #1 knows about that. x] P.S. I'll call you later, kay? i promise. i just can't, cause i have to force myself to choke down dinner with that bloody bitch at my aunt's place and her bloody cat. (british moment) and i really have to piss. ily.<3


Later...9:20 p.m.

It's so weird...i just read this blog of this "famous" person(don't ask me how i found the webpage) and i'm a bit shocked. the person, who i will call Frances, wrote about the whole stock market crashing, wildfires, Marcia trading sex for drugs and i'm rather suprised someone who doesn't really need to worry about this actually cares. i don't know. maybe i shouldn't judge people so quickly.

hmm...

i think my karma is starting to turn for the better—i've actually been having a good week. well, friend wise, not school wise. funny how it's always either or. mind, it's only tuesday so i hope i'm not jinxing anything. but i finally did what i've been planning to do all month—i just hope the thing doesn't backfire. if it does Clyde would murder me, though im only trying to help. Oy vai! on the other hand, i've been catching up on my favorite cartoons, so i'll probably be much more mellow tomorrow. though i bet i'll piss Best Friend #1 and Bikini Bear Buddy off with my complaints on lack of character development. i probably should start on my apology letters. well, i guess i should move along to Daily Dedications:

I heart you but...1. well, so though you don't know that i know, you think our group's been drifting. i can hardly disagree with that. the thing is, i know you care, especially for Bebe and Red, but do you really care about our friendship? maybe you care now, but i guarantee that you will, sooner or later. will you really let an insignificant sorta-close friend drag your life down? i really think not.
2. i can't believe it! just because you're in a rocky relationship right now, you should still have some compassion. i know im taking this too far but im in a mood. im allowed to have my eccentricities.
3. Best Friend #1 i'm worried. it's nine months tommorow, eh? ill pray to a relic/buddha statue for you. on the bright side, we've been having good weeks:] your outfit will probably be like Walnut-style Gossip Girl/Secret Life.

whinings of a hormonal girl

i just don't understand anything anymore. really. i feel like everythings going by in a blur and i'm just caught in the action. (wow. total Slow Me Down moment there). everyone's just so busy with their things and it seems like no one has the time to just sit down and laugh. and thanks to Mother Nature, i am currently now a hormonal, deranged woman who yells at anything that moves. joy. ugh. high school sucks. let's move on to Daily Dedications (kudos to Best Friend #1's Dear Yous--sorry for the cheesy rip-off)



Daily Dedications:

Thank Yous!: 1. Thanks for being there for me all the time. i know it may get annoying to listen to my complaints all the time, but you still do. at least half of the time. so thanks.

2. Sorry for spilling your secret crush out. blame my big mouth. but thanks for being there. you're like the only person that actually jokes around anymore.

Stop before I kill yous!: 1. Can you just tone it down a bit? It's seriously getting annoying. And pathetic. Honestly, just grow up. sorry. that was mean. you have your mature moments. just....

2. It's over. It really is. Our BFF-ness i mean. i just can't keep up with it. don't get me wrong, i don't want to be a prima donna bitch and declare our friendship over, it's just that it's really hard for me. i want you guys to know i'll always care about you, but now's just not the time.

3. Darling, are you okay? It's really worrying me. I don't know what to do--and i usually know what to do. im trying to give you space now--don't take it as though i don't care, i'm just worried i might do the wrong thing and screw everything up.